I’m Not A People Person, How Can I Be One?
What is a people person, indeed?
If we referred to Cambridge Dictionary, it will state that a people person is someone who is friendly and enjoys meeting and talking to people.
BUT, not everyone enjoys meeting and talking to people. Some people, probably the more introverted they are, the less they enjoy meeting and talking to people.
BUT (again), it doesn’t mean people who didn’t enjoy talking to people can’t be a people person too. They can be friendly, supportive, and helpful to their teammates. So, the least that they can do is not be supportive of their teammates.
How can I be a people person?
Every single human in the world wants to be treated nice, wants to feel appreciated, wants to be respected. It is not because of anything else, they’re just being HUMAN.
So, here’s the rule:
Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Respect is earned, not given. — Hussein Nishan.
You can’t be rude to your teammates and expected to be treated with kindness. It is wrong. You should be nice to them too if you want to be treated with kindness.
Some other things I think you should do in order to be a people person are:
Try to Listen and Understand Before You Act
My papa said before reacting to something it must first listen and understand first. Don’t just hear a little and then be criticized a lot, it can cause misunderstanding and it is not a good thing. Why?
- It shows that you respected the person who speaks to you. If we want to show them that we respected them, the only way is just to show that we respected them. We can look at them in the eye when they talk to us so that they feel we have actually listened to them.
The other things we should do are:
- Being open-minded. If we are being open-minded, it will help us to understand it better from their perspective. Everyone has their own thoughts and consideration, isn’t it? It won’t hurt you to be open-minded. It will help you, a lot.
- Give response. It’s not just giving a response, but it has subtle art. You can give a response that is needed by the person who speaks to you. For example, if they’re being sad about their code coverage because it is so low, you can’t show a happy response because it will show that you’re not with them. You can give a better response by saying that you have been through it too and you believe that we (you and he/she) can fix it too. It will make them feel that you actually understand them and be there with them when they have problems. Also, they will more likely to react the same if you face the same situations in the future.
Being Appreciative: Embrace Their Success
Everyone likes to be appreciated, noticed when they doing something good, not something bad. We often heard “Kalo buruk aja diinget selamanya, giliran baik ga diinget”. We shouldn’t be like that to our teammates, we should show that they are appreciated to be a part of our team. It will make them feel that their hard works are being valued, and maybe it will boost their motivation to keep contributing to the team.
In this software engineering project course, everyone has been in a tough time and tight schedule. When a friend success at their PBI, congratulating them and saying thank you would mean SO MUCH for them, at least for me.
In my case, I send my updates to the team as I finished something or if I am working on something. My teammates are kind enough to say “kereeen” or “thank you” and I feel appreciated because of my hard work and contribution to the team. I want everyone in the team to feel appreciated for their hard work too.
Three Magic Words: Please, Sorry, Thank you
- Please, use it when we need help so it doesn’t sound like we’re giving a command to them. It will show that we need their help and we can’t do this alone. We are all human can not do everything by ourselves. Sometimes we need help too, and if we need it we should ask for it properly.
- Sorry, in teamwork there would be a clash, misunderstanding, or mistake. The magic word is sorry. Saying sorry means that you regret what you’re doing and it doesn't mean that you fail. Saying sorry and truly showing that you’re sorry will help others understand what you did and everything will be better again.
- Thank you, it was explained in the previous section. Thank you is an act of being appreciative to other people. People will be happy if we appreciate what they did, especially what they did for us.
PPL Case
In the case of our Software Engineering Project course, I am always happy to be a part of the team because I feel like everyone in the team tried to be the best version of a people person despite their personality. Everyone in the team is friendly, supportive, and helpful to each other. I noticed that every time in our Sprint Retrospective, the good thing is “Supportive team as always”. So, thank you to my team! ❤
